Saturday, July 17, 2010
CHAPTER SEVEN: Daddy duty
So Karissa is out of town this weekend at her 12 year old sisters wedding shower.... don't ask. She took the little one leaving me with Soleil age 5 and Kale age 2.3. I had them all day yesterday and will have them into Monday.
This little trial run for the big week long thing coming up on me when I have all three for a week has got me thinking about the things I should have known or... the things I found out, here are some.
If a 2 year old says he can hold it... he is lying.
If a 5 year old tells you her room is clean, she is also lying.
Two year olds love cookies... just do not give them any at 8pm.
Yes a child can watch the same over and over four or more times without blinking...
Kale thinks he can swim even without a life jacket... he can't.
Me two kids and a bookstore... bad mix.
Me two kids and a bar... perfect, who knew kids like beer.
Kidding... gosh, you are all way to serious.
Keeping the house clean is so easy... I think Karissa is slacking, what does she do all day? I mean, this parenting thing is a snap, like being on vacation all the time! =)
Being the only dad at the pool with kids totally rocks... all the moms feel sorry for me and do things for me to help out. I play it up a little... now who is the smarter sex... (That was not a question, we all know guys rule in the smart department)
Barbie movies are not that bad...
Barbie movies SUCK!
If you wait one hour longer to feed them, they eat better. Just saying.
It is amazing how much one can pee in the pool... I wonder if the water gets into the skin making the pee refill. Anyway... totally fun... I bet, not that I've done it. I mean I don't want to get out of the pool and be watched by 50 moms as I walk to the bathroom. It is for my kids safety, they might drown when I am gone. Besides, I can always blame it on Kale... Not like you don't ever do it!
Worst place to have your daughter throw up? McDonald's play center when you are all alone... no I mean the five minutes after I drop off Karissa I take the kids out for a little Dad is more fun date and she does a big "My tummy hurts" all over her self and the floor. Talk about winning a Dad of the year award. Introduction to watching the kids all by yourself... hey, here you go.... Barf!
Eating a breakfast sandwich after daughter threw up only a foot away... not bad... little salty but not bad.
Kale stepping in said throw up with his bare feet... EEWWWWW, that was nasty... "Watch out Kale, no stop..." He stops in the middle and looks down and leans over to wipe it up rubbing his hands in it with a thin napkin. Man... that is almost as bad as him grabbing the rim of the toilet in the mens room...
Bed time... loving it... got to read... no, I mean I wanted to read but fell asleep. Again, what a slacker my wife is... she has so much energy at the end of the day and I am worn out... goes to show you who is working harder at this parenting thing.
Anyway... I am sure if she had my job she would envy herself even more. I mean sitting in a coffee shop writing with a cup of joe in my hand all day is hard! Really, she has no idea. Dumb people wanting to talk and messing up my flow... gosh, I mean what a drag.
Love you babe... you rock!