Just Remember, It's All About You.

Like my mother used to say, "The world revolves around you."

Wait, or was it something else? I swear she said that… yeah. Good advice.

I get asked a lot of questions as a writer and publisher. Some of the best ones, or worst ones depending on your humor scale have to do with what to do about someone stealing their book. Or "What if the agent or publisher steals my idea and does their own book?"

I really had someone submit a MS to me once but in bits, they wouldn't show me the whole book cuz I might steal it.

So here is the deal:
You are important. Yes, you, are more important and amazing than anyone else in the world. You alone are the reason it is worth getting up in the morning. If I could wait at your feet, learn from your mind so one day I could write like you I would do so at a moments notice.

You are one of a kind. No really. No one has ever thought of your story, you spun it from your vast mind and it is so original that it is sure to bring readers to tears just to behold its glory. So please, please in the name of all thats holy WRITE FASTER!!!

The next thing I want you to know is that when you post on Facebook about your life, how you are growing as a person, how you saw yourself in the mirror and realized how amazing you are and that not sharing your gift with the rest of us would be a crime against humanity… I wept. I beg, I plead, I hang on every word, follow your every post, wait up at night thinking about how your life must be. Don't stop. Don't ever stop giving us, giving me your gift.

Now that you understand how because of you my life if full, my life has meaning I need you to know something. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I wake up in the morning and grab my phone to check on your Facebook page. I search for your books in the hopes that you in the last 12 hours happened to write another one. I am consumed by you. You are. Nothing else matters. It is like that movie, can't remember what it was called but they say: "The Dude Abides." It is so deep, the dude just IS. You just IS, you abide and I need to know that you know that I know you know that.

So my life and breath. Remember it is about you. With your aid we all see how to go on and be something. Thank you, and may you live long and …and… danrit, I can't remember how it goes.

*No real authors were harmed in this post. If you know someone who is plagued with the ItsAllAboutMe syndrome, pass this along to them. I do not approve of mocking people so if you are offended I am sorry and no real people were in mind when this was written. All likenesses to real people are accidental. I do not really thing you are all that and this post should be read by looking in the mirror over your left shoulder. Due to some lawsuits we are required to list some potential hazards of reading this post. Choking due to consuming a beverage upon reading. Gut rot, headache, body cramps, loss of air leading in some cases to death. Fluid loss out upper and lower openings. Mental trauma, stress, hair loss and death. We recommend smoking weed and or being drunk before reading to prevent some of these symptoms. 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Social Media Rules: What not to wear!

Social Media Rules

I know, there really are not any rules, not written at least but there is a lot of unwritten ones that you should know. I mean SM is not a new thing, Facebook, Twitter, Blogging have all been out long enough that grandma is doing it so the "I didn't know!" line just doesn't work anymore. 

The first thing you should think about is WHY you are on SM. If you are a business or author you will want to do things different than a mom who just wants to chat with family and friends. If you just want to keep in touch with friends and have fun, might be a good idea to only "Friend" people you know. If you are an author like me or are looking at SM as a way to market yourself you should "Friend" anyone related to your business. 

Once you know WHY you are on SM you can begin. 

Be smart, and be a good neighbor. Bring back the tool you borrowed, don't play loud music at 2 a.m. 

First rule and the most important IMO is: DON'T COMMENT ON EVERY POST! This is a good way to stay out of trouble. Posts involving government, God, family, and justice can get heated and just because you don't agree does not mean you have to butt in. Stay out of it, your advice is not needed and it will only get you angry or worse. 

This is the problem with SM, you ready for it? 

"We were not designed to know our friends and families every thought on every subject." --Aaron Patterson

We see our friends once a week, maybe a best friend four times a week and our family every day for part of the day. In a lifetime we may never know what they think about Tuna fighting, Breast feeding or hear a crude joke come out of their mouth. SM shows us everything, the bad days, the night you got drunk and had your phone, nothing can be hidden anymore. You have to remember, if you find out something about a person you love and it is a bad thing, cut them some slack, you have things they don't like and before SM we would never know. 

Another good rule is: DON'T POST YOUR EVERY THOUGHT/DRUNK POST OR OPINION ON EVERYTHING! In a word, Shut-up. No one cares, really. We look through posts and pass over yours most days. So be fun and light, enjoy your SM time and don't use it to push your agenda. 

"Your opinion is just as important as mine." -- Me again

We live in the American Idol generation. We all think that what we think matters. We vote on shows, call in and gripe on the radio and everyone on FB jumps when we whine about something. But the truth is, you may be smart to you and your mini friend list but there are more people out there who think you are stupid and ignorant. So it is al fair... in love and SM, lol

Authors and other pushers: STOP POSTING CRAP ABOUT YOUR BOOK OR PRODUCT: Again, no one cares. It is annoying and shows your lack of skill in marketing. Post or tweet now and again but don't beat people up. If you post it all the time I will put you on the Not to read list!

DON'T POST ON MY WALL! Does my wall look like your personal banner? Do you really think I will see the link to your book and be HAPPY about it? Oh and a follow-up on this is people with an auto respond when I friend them or follow them on Twitter with a link to their product. #Lame

One more rule that seems to be hard for people: DON'T AUTO TWEET! Really, we all know you do it, we see through it and we don't respond to it, so maybe not do it?

SM is a conversation, join it or go away. Don't post and run, it is pointless. I don't care how many people follow your blog, if it does not get people to interact you are just more spam. 

These are just a few, the rest you can figure out. If you keep it light and stay out of fights you will go a long way. Hope this helps and that you got a laugh out of my spunky nature this morning. 

Later

--Aaron

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Off Topic (Cussing and other fun things to do)

***Off Topic***

To $*&@ or not to $*&@

Don't swear! Don't cuss! Don't offend me! Don't burst my bubble! I mean I have never heard a swear word in my life and own a Clean TV box that changes the word "Sex" to "Hugs" so I don't have to hear the word. This is all fine and well, I grew up in church and write clean books.

But why don't I label myself as a christian fiction writer? Because once you slap that label on yourself you become tied to a list of rules that even God himself would break as he does not have as strong a conviction as most Christian fiction publishers.

I don't write sex scenes, use profanity because in my personal decision, I am a writer, I can think of other words to use and want to show how my character is feeling. So what is my personal rule?

IF THE BIBLE SAYS IT, SO CAN I!

I think this is a solid rule. If you wish to write clean and sell into the CBA market as well as the general market--which I do, it is about as close to the line as you can get. I have yet to get a reader complaint because I didn't have profanity in my books.

Now the reason for this post is because some of you out there have a thin soft skin and think you are better than God. Better than God you say? Wow Aaron, tall claim, harsh words... all true. If the shoe fits and all that...

Who gripes about book content? Not the Christian bookstores, not the general market. I'll give you two guesses and one don't count.

So let me help you out my dear thin skinned reader.

The bible uses a few words in a derogatory way, here are a few:

Bastard
Whore
Dog
Harlot

Even Jesus told a woman she was a dog, others that they were vipers and so on. Now I don't want this to get into a religious post but the point is, don't have higher standards than God. He used harsh words to make a point and if he did, I think I can use them as well.

Do I use them much? Nope, maybe once in a whole book, I try to make it the right word for whatever the scene calls for. So next time you want to get all hot under the collar because you saw a word you didn't like, remember:

1. This is NOT Christian fiction, never said it was.
2. Chill out, there are so many fights about this subject and the only people fighting are the Christians, the rest are busy reading a good book.
3. You and your opinion are just as important as the rest of the universe and their opinion, which is a nice way of saying, no one cares what you think. =)
4. Be an adult. I know, this is asking a lot, but it was worth a shot.
5. If you want a down the line Christian fiction book, one that never says the word sex and everyone is nice to each other and never makes anyone feel bad, go get one, there are many to choose from.
6. Be real, if you even watch a movie, TV show, let people cuss on the subway in earshot of you than don't be all up in my grill if I decide to use the word bastard. Oh crap, you just read a cuss word!

Got you!

--Aaron




Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

2012 -- The Year of Change.

2012 -- The Year of Change.

-off topic-

A mentor of mine told me at the beginning of the year that 2012 was a year of change. I didn't know what he meant at the time but as we get closer to the end of the year and we are all still here, I look back at my own life and agree with him. This has been the year of change for me personally.

There were times that I wished the Mayan's had it right. My world seemed to be on the brink of ending and some days I wished it would have.

The last two years felt like slugging through mud with a messy divorce, trying to keep it calm and as safe for the kids turned out to be one of the hardest things I would ever do. But at the same time things on every other level were rockin! Business took off, I was growing in my own writing and deep down to my core I was happy.

I got this, we are going strong and just when I thought I could handle this stress and pressure I got a call. My little brother was dead. Shock, anger, fear, sadness, relief, confusion, anger again. All the feelings hit me in the face. He was a year and a half younger than me and even has three kids like I do. He left behind a wife and a large hole in many hearts.

No worries, I was good at managing stress, dealing with pain and loss...no big deal! Sometimes we lie to ourselves and don't even know it.

A month later I had to have a talk with my father and cut off all communication. This in the wake of my brothers death. My publishing house was still going strong but the demands grew. The way it felt was like being strung to a few horses and having them run in different directions.

No biggie, but that was only what my mind said, my body said something different. 6 years ago I hurt my low back and it decided to take this opportunity to go out. Three months of pain to a point that I could not sit longer than an hour and hundreds if not thousands of dollars for Massage, Yoga, PT, Personal Training and lots of drugs I am almost back to 100%.

Why am I telling you all this? Why be do blue? Because I am a person, a human with trials just like anyone. We all go through crap so why don't we cut each other some slack? Why are we so mean to each other? Why do we assume that we are alone?

In all this how do I feel, what do I take away?

*That my kids are strong and amazing. That I love them more each day and love to be with them.
*I know that true friends will stick with you no matter what, that I am a jerk sometimes and sometimes I am a good guy.
*I learned that I cannot trust myself and that my gut is right most the time.
*People are ruled by fear and change and that I need to listen to my body, when it says stop I need to stop.
*I found out that I have some loyal friends and that I need to be a better one.
*That people who are crazy will always be crazy, don't try to understand them, just learn and be wise.
*Humor is a healer, laughing is a medicine and sometimes you just need to do something stupid.

This year has been a year of change, but for the better. I have made so many mistakes but have also done some good things. Life is like a tree, it grows and along the way picks up a few scars and knots. But when it is old it shades and protects younger trees.

Please don't comment if you feel sorry for me, I don't! I love my life, and I have a great one. We all have things we want different but hey...it is what it is.

Now go out there and connect with someone, and if you want to attack someone remember that they may just need a hug instead.

Later

--Aaron

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Why people hate Indie authors!

Indie authors are like the redheaded step-child of publishing. 

But it’s their own fault! 

Mean? Yes, Cruel? Yes, True? Yes!

"Aaron, come on, we all know you like to hit the touchy issues, but why so hatful?" I'll tell you my friends and stalkers. I have been involved in writing and publishing for only three years now but in that time I have seen and done many things. I have watched the Indie publishers and authors grow and I consider myself an Indie as well. But we are at that point where we need to put on our suit, brush our teeth and come to the party looking good. Right now we look like we spent the last year under a bridge. 

Now before you write me off—lol small writing joke there—take a moment t consider what I am about to tell you. I also understand that some Indie authors do not fit this bill, guys like Joshua Graham and CJ Lyons are what to shoot for, doing it right and all that. But the bulk of Indies will fit my title rant perfectly. 

I like to sum up things...so here is a list that about nails the Indie:

Lazy

Ignorant 

Petty

Jealous

Gullible

If you are still with me, Gratz! You have thick skin or you just want to see what is wrong with me. =)

Lazy: 

What, you mean I have to market? I don't want to do a blog tour! Aaron, can't you just do it for me? I can't count the times I see an author work like mad to get their book published and once it is out they fall off the face of the earth. They see that this is a business and takes work. Don't be lazy, don't cut corners and hire your neighbor to do your cover. You are in the race with New York and big money, if you cannot put out a book that at least looks the part, than keep your day job. Yes, it is a ton of work; yes you will put in hours and not see a return right away. But the difference between a successful author and one who is not, is one put in the work and the other one gave up. Don't be lazy. 

Ignorant:

Don't get me started! Educate yourself! Take classes, webinars, learn all you can about the business you are in. Would you take a job and expect to do well if you have no clue what you are doing? Don't know how to use Facebook, learn. Twitter? Learn. You should know that you don't auto tweet someone your book link, or email your FB friends your book info. No one cares about your book; if they want to buy it they will find you. Social media is SOCIAL! The hard part about this point is most ignorant people don't even know that they are ignorant. Everyone is looking around wondering who I am talking about...good chance it is you. 

Big sign that you are ignorant. 

You hound people on social media. 

You have to beg for people to interact on your blog or FB wall.

You never have someone say how amazing your cover is... without you asking.

You can't understand why your sales are not higher, cuz you market all the time!

You don't know what a blog tour, auto tweet, metadata, author central, keyword, tag, SEO, or the difference between Mobi and ePub.

You are not selling on Apple because it is hard and requires an ISBN number.

You think this list is me just being a jerk.

I really want to help you, because helping you means helping me. I am in the same campground as other Indies and I want us all to rock, not suck!

What can you do? Imagine you were going to school to be a doctor. Spend 4-6 years teaching yourself everything there is to know about publishing and what is going on with eBooks. This is your job, if you ever want it to being in enough money to be your job that is...

Petty:

Fill in the blank. You get mad when another author does well, you may even leave them a bad review. You worry about what everyone else is doing and forget about your own house. Stress out over someone pirating your book and spend hours hunting them down only to make yourself look bad and miss the point. Come on guys, we are adults. We are in business. Do you think Trump stresses over what people think about his hair? He is working, making deals and pushing forward. He does not have time to worry about petty things. Look at the big picture, does it really matter? Where are you going, will this (Whatever is getting to you) get you there? Again, I see this all the time. We worry about things that just don't matter, but I covered this in another post, the one about chilling out. 

Jealous: 

Be happy for others who make it. And if someone does not do it like you do it, don't worry. Learn all you can and see what bestsellers do, some of it may work for you and some of it won't. But this "We 4 and no more" attitude is just lame. There is enough room at the top for all of us. People buy books, it is not like a car where they only but Ford or Chevy. Help each other out, share links to other books, don't fall into the trap that if you help out another author that that will hurt your own sales, if anything, it will help. 

Pretend that you are 3 years old, and your mom tells you to share! Share!

Gullible: 

We all want the lazy way out. The silver bullet. Face it, we just want it to be easy, buy that lottery ticket and cash it in. But life does not work that way. So what do we do? We jump on that site that offers a tweet for our book link, oh, they are going to market me for free and they care about women or pets or whatever! Think about it, what’s in it for them? 

I know of one site that is a Mecca for this crap. They claim to be there just to help and all they do is get ignorant Indie authors into their tagging chain or tweet list. They will tweet their own books back to you like 10X a day and just use you the ignorant author to ride their way to bigger sales. We all think that if we hang out with authors that do well that we will start selling. Think people! They just want to build a list, and if you watch they will start offering stuff for sale. 

Want an award? Here is the cost...oh but it is special. 

Want more tweets from us...here is the fee. 

Now some sites like Pixel of Ink are good, they are up front, they market books and some plans they charge and some are free. But the point is, they just tell you. There is no bait and switch, no "I am here to help Indie authors cuz my heart is just so big and juicy!" Cross these guys and they will rip your head off...believe me I know. 

You might wonder how this falls in with what we are doing over at StoneHouse University. Yes, there is a fee for classes but that is only there to pay the speakers and the administrator, so she can make her house payment. Look out for scams; don't think you are going to get something for nothing. There is always a catch even if it is to get you to buy a book so they can ride off your back up the bestseller list. 

Because I believe in being real and up front I am gonna tell you my evil little plan. You ready?

I wand to build a list of 50-100 books by the time I am 65 and take over after James Patterson dies. I know, mean. I would love to see StoneHouse Ink grow to have 100 authors and over 60% of them hit bestseller status. I want to teach and help other indie authors because it helps the little guy and I really want to see the big 6 go down. If I can take away a few of the big guys and make some waves I will giggle. I want authors to GET PAID! So many for so many years have been getting raped. Everyone should be making 50%, not just Indies. So, you see... I just want to take over the world. Is that bad? lol 

Oh, and have fun. If you know me you know that I love my job, love writing and publishing and love marketing! It is fun! Join me and some will see us coming and cringe and others will smile. 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

So you wanna sell a ton of books huh? (RANT)

*RANT! Warning RANT!
Sometimes I feel like this eBook thing is like going to Vegas. Authors from everywhere, are all on the plane whooping it up, drinking and full of visions of the money-filled pools of their future. But on the airplane ride back, sad faces and hung over looks cover the silent air like a wet, dream-crushing-blanket.

What is it all about? Why is the thought of quick money and no work get us every time! I mean we buy lottery tickets, pull the lever shoving more coins in, waiting for that chime to sound. Have we learned nothing? Are we all still just dumb drooling beasts looking for the next easy kill, only dressed in heels and designer suits instead of fur and loin cloths?

March was a stellar month for me, I know...lame, you SUCK Aaron and all that! I get it...I even get the nasty reviews some of you left, (I know it is another writer, the lingo gives it away). I mean, your book does not sell, or you think you can write circles around me. Well, you may be right. I never claimed to be a great writer, it is all a journey. Crap... now I am off target. The point is, there are so many writers, (I am not even going to call them authors as that would be giving them credit), out there, that are bitter, cruel, and just mean because they had a dream of hitting it big, and that dream is gone.

There are no shortcuts. No easy to make it, and even if you do make it there are some really lame things that come with selling a ton of books! (That sounds like a candy bar!)

Anyway, back to my killer month, Moved 11k copies of Sweet Dreams, 6200 of Airel, 1500 of Dream On, and 950 of In Your Dreams. It was amazing and my fans and readers...you ROCK...in a big way!

I know, this is a Rant and all a mess, deal.

So, good month, good year, and this year is going to blow your mind! I mean it...really. But what is the downside? Mean writers all butt hurt cuz their book has a crap cover? Yeah. Bitter indie peeps mad cuz they have the BEST BOOK IN THE WORLD, but it sells 10 copies a month? Yup. Bad reviews from someone who has left...just one review--on your book! Hmmmm...gee I wonder who that could be, a writer who made a new account just to leave you a bad review maybe? LOL So funny... I am busting up here! (I am not angry...just seems silly to me to go to all the trouble just to leave a bash...heck, you can do that here!)

What I am trying to say and have said so many times before, is this. You have to WORK! Day in and day out, re-edit, new covers, test, change prices, market, tweet, talk, be nice, deal with idiots, push, fight, write, sleep here and there, market more, try new things, fail, work some more and keep going no matter what happens! You can't expect it to come easy or for your book to hit, this is a game, learn the game, play well, and cross your fingers. (Run on sentence...I know.)

Work this like it is a full-time business, or it never will be one! You have to go at it like a pro, don't compete with the indies or self-pub crowed, you need to fight New York! go up against James Patterson! So your cover is better than some indie...big deal, is it better than Dean Koontz? I mean I want to own Twilight! Hang out with the people that are doing something, moving and working hard. Not the groupies that just leach off each other and never sell... (Free advice.)

OK, I know I am going off and I really don't know if this even has a point. But take from it what you will.

Oh, and LEARN! Take the SHU webinars, or some classes. This is your future, take charge, own it and lets make some waves!

Surfs up!

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Social Media 101 What NOT to do (Author Edition)

Social Media 101

Okay people, we all live in this online world and I know it can be hard to know what to do and as there are not really rules set up let's look at what to do and what NOT to do.

I am going to talk about what NOT to do first as it seems many of us are having a problem with this part of our online lives.

Comments on Facebook
You do not have to respond to every controversial comment or post. In fact you should avoid them if you can. We were not meant to know people this close and for some getting on FB or Twitter can be shocking. We go from knowing some things ab out our friends to knowing what they think about EVERY subject ever created. Our natural reaction is to comment and let them know what we think and thus the fights begin. Good rule of thumb, talk about nice things and if someone is just being a jerk do not follow or friend them, it is okay to unfriend people...even if you know them in person.

Marketing your book
Market yourself by being yourself. Not by pushing your book or health supplement on people. People buy from who they like, if I do not like you I will not buy your book. Get to know people, talk and post once every now and again, most people know you have a book as it is your profile picture.

Confrontation
So I pissed you off, now what? Well, you should not blast in public all about me and how I kill small kittens. You should send a email to me and deal with it that way before going off half cocked all over Twitter and Facebook. It just makes you look bad not me. If you do not like what someone is doing deal with it in private. There are people that I know online that are scamers and downright #lame. I want to scream from the TwitterTop and warn people about them or what they are doing with some publishing scam or whatever. But do I? No.

It is about control, try to control yourself. Send a email or make a call. Live above them, do right and all the others will work out by themselves. Most of us authors will not take the time to research what we are all mad about. Try stopping and looking at it all without your black glasses on. The only time I will name names and call out someone is if I am pushed into a corner and have to in order to defend myself. But that is the very last step and I do it with care as if i am going to name names I will do it with open guns and I am not messing around at that point. But like I said...last resort.

Twitter Auto Tweets
Come on peeps... be there... be here with us. Be present. I understand setting up auto tweets for time sake, but the same tweet over and over and over again? Really? And we read it? Nope...I gloss over and look for the real people having conversations.

Facebook Groups
Do not invite random people, it is rude. Follow the rules of the group. I can't count the times I delete posts from the same person over and over again because they will not follow the rules. If there is a no promotion rule, do not promote. Come one peeps...*note: if all you do is link to your book not one person will read it or follow the link.
Join the conversation.

Facebook Bleeding Heart's
I do not care about the poor sheep in Montana or the starving trees in Iceland. Most of it is just to get you all worked up and you re-post and share the sad picture that I have to gag over... again, conversation and what do you want me to do? Go over and feed some starving tree? I am not going to give money so what is the point? Oh...yeah, to put guilt on people for living in the US... got it... *small rant.

The main thing to remember is to be nice and do not do something that you would not want someone else to do. You know...like we learned when we were 6.

If you have a beef with someone don't go off on them, be an adult and hold your little Twitter fingers. Authors, I know we are all excited about books and reading, but be careful about who you hook up with. There are a ton of scams that look all good but all the scamer wants is to sell you their book. Ask yourself, do they push their book on you? Do they push you to follow rules that they made up? Do they blast others, cuz if they will kill another author if you cross them they will kill you as well. BE SMART...oh and be NICE!

That is all...

for now

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

The Real Me

We all have this mask we wear, the one for the public, Facebook, Twitter and so on. I have tried this last year to let that fall away and be more open and honest with who I really am and because of that I have lost some friends and gained others.

What does it mean to be real? Well... something like this.

Dream and take time for yourself, life is short.

Forget most of what people tell you and go with your gut.

Friends will never leave you but will always tell you the truth even if it hurts.

Money will never make you happy.

If you never try anything you will never fail or succeed.

You are not your job.

Sometimes the right thing is the wrong thing.

We are all not as cool as we think we are.

Being a nerd is not all that bad.

I like coffee, and books, and sometimes I need to be left alone.

Going out on the town every weekend gets boring.

Even the people you trust will let you down, cut them some slack.

Trust first and doubt later.

Most stories have three sides, your side, my side and the truth.

Sometimes I hate myself.

I do things I don't want to do because it is right and do things I don't want to do because I can't help myself.

My worst enemy is me.

Forgive me for being a jerk, I don't mean it but am stupid... a lot!

I am happy even when I am sad.

One day I hope to be a good writer, but in the meantime join me in my journey.

Never regret.

Learn something from everyone you meet, even if it is what not do do.

Most people that fail in life are scared.

Sometimes just getting out of bed is enough.

It is never as bad as you imagine it will be.

Cut yourself some slack.

I wish I was a better man.

People will hate you if you fail and hate you if you succeed.

And last of all... You Are Enough!

Cheers!



Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.