CHAPTER SEVEN: Birthday advice

So as I turn 31 tomorrow I find myself looking back and thinking about life. What does it all mean? Is there life on other planets? Does that crazy woman at the book show really think her book is good? All of these questions and more. So here is a little advice from a very old young man.

Live and take a risk.

Forget your friends advice unless they are 20 years older then you.

Kiss your wife, if you are not married, kiss your dog.

Dream but don't just dream--do!

Try something new every week or every day if you are brave enough.

Avoid wal mart in an all black neighborhood... unless you are black.

Hairspray is not mouth wash.

The ones you trust the most will hurt you, so be prepared.

Shut-up and watch the movie.

Don't eat so much.

Yes you are fat and you are only kidding yourself.

If you have to ask...

We all know it was you.

Read a book...

Never trust someone you just met.

Ask yourself if you would want to be your friend.

Never let go of something or someone important.

Family is forever no matter what you think of them.

Just because you are wearing a dress doesn't mean you are being modest.

Use God's Word as a sword, not a club.

Kids are funny, enjoy them and stop over-parenting.

Just because you thought of it doesn't make it right or cool.

Did someone fart?

Do what you say... no one likes a liar.

If you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result you are crazy.

Poop stinks.

Work less, you have all your life to work.

You have a bald spot and the comb-over is not fooling anyone.

Relax.

Life is short, laugh and enjoy the ride.

What you believe matters not unless what you believe is the truth.

My mother in law is better then your mother in law!

If you have more then one bumper sticker you should be slapped.

Drive on the right so I can pass.

If you think you will go far.

Show up on time and work 8 hrs and you will own the place in five years.

No matter how old you get a fart is still funny.

Women don't know what they want so stop trying to figure out what they want.

Sometimes a back rub is better then sex.

It is okay to say sex.

Don't read long blogs, you might go blind.

Done... for now...