Saturday, December 4, 2010

CHAPTER TWELVE: I've fallen and I can't get up!

Snow and ice have hit our little town, and two days ago I walked through said snow to start my car. I do not like a cold car, thus letting it heat up seemed like a good idea.

As I turned to go to the mail box to put in the Netflix movie, I turned and all at once my right foot slipped right out from under me. It was a slow motion moment, my life flashed before my eyes and visions of a broken hip and the neighbor lady looking out the window at me, filled my head.

I wondered how this falling big body-235 lbs... down from 260-was going to feel to hit the hard street. Let me tell ya... it was not graceful or pretty.

I went down on my side and in the process I twisted my ankle. It hurt like a lot of cuss words, and I used a few of them as I hobbled toward the mail box to finish my task. I was not going to let a silly fall stop me from putting that movie into that box because I wanted to get the next one and waiting a day longer was not going to happen!

With each step I was beginning to understand my plight. This was not a small sprain and it could even be broken. But what was I to do? I felt like pulling out my red button that called the paramedics or clapping two times for my roller chair.

My ripe old age of 31 crashed down on me but I felt 60. Nothing makes you feel old like falling and hurting yourself over something so stupid. Who is the one always saying to Karissa and the kids... "Careful, it is slick."? Yes, me... Always the watchful one and I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar and standing with my pants down.

Later that day, I discovered the top of my foot was not doing good. The ankle was fine but something was going on with the rest of The Foot. I call it The Foot now as because of its lack of agility I no longer consider it a working member of my body. In fact I feel kind of betrayed by The Foot as it could have done a better job or at least put up a fight. But NO... It was asleep at the wheel and so I feel a time of reflection is in order, The Foot needs to know that this kind of thing is not acceptable.

The next day after a fight with The Foot I went to get The Foot adjusted by my chiropractor. If you want to know what that felt like... lets just say, the string of cuss words that were on my tongue at the time of the fall, returned. It was like hitting yourself with a hammer, waiting three days so the bruise was good and sore and hitting yourself in the same spot again.

I am still walking like a old man... 60 if you were wondering, and it hurts like... like... well I am sure you can gather what it feels like. I will suck it up as the Doc does not think it is broken. But I will whine and act like a old baby anyway. Why not? I fell on the ice, poor little foot couldn't take it... sleeping on the job... Anyway... careful, it is slick.


  1. I do feel your pain. I have had that happen. Did I ever tell you I'm a clutz? However, it can't be too bad cause I know a certain beauty with curly blonde hair mentioning lovingly doting on you.

  2. My advise....
    having done the twisting/spraining of the ankle thing...a few times.
    Take a pain killer & ice it & elevate it.
    And try not to walk on it very much.
    Love ya,
    Mrs. S.

  3. Oh, ouch. Icy sidewalks. Not a good thing.

  4. Ouch! I slipped yesterday getting out of the car, but luckily I landed on my butt, where I have, unfortunately, enough cushion to protect myself from much harm and damage...

    Hope The Foot recovers soon. When you said "The Foot" it reminded me of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The bad guy foot soldiers were known as "The Foot". :-)

  5. Come on Patterson, it's a little bump. You have no idea what pain is. When I was leading my platoon in 'Nam, I accidentally tripped one of those booby-trap "wall of spikes" that the Cong like to construct in the jungle. Four eight inch spikes impaled my chest, but by some freak of nature, narrowly missed my heart (although my left lung was punctured). My squad was horrified at the site of all that blood, but I sucked up the pain, pushed out the all of spikes and continued the patrol. Later on I drank a quart of whiskey and volunteered for the first night watch. Now that's how to live with pain when you ain't got time for pain!