If you follow this blog you know I tend to have what I call a rant every now and again. This is where I open up and just tell you how it is without putting up a filter to protect your feelings. So, if you are of a "be nice all the time" kind of person... here is your warning.
Advice: This is the topic today, advice. When should we give it and what should we say and where.
It is amazing to me how little people think sometimes. Most of these people are my age or younger so this is directed at you and me. If you find yourself in the following pages be aware I realize you are not going to change just because I said so, but maybe down the road you will look back and see things differentially and maybe be able to help out some young person...
First, don't give advice on parenting if you do not have grown children or only have children of one sex. That is like a three year old giving advice on writing a book just because they learned their ABC's.
So this is me not giving you advice on parenting. And the only advice me or any other young parent should give is this: do what you believe is right. You and I are young and have no right and not enough experience to say boo to anyone. Now people in authority like a pastor or teacher has these liberties and the wisdom to teach it in a helpful way.
The next subject is self justification and the taker:
Yes, we all do it, that is not the point, it is the ones who do it but don't think or know they do it. No amount of Bible will fix what is done. If you wrong someone own up to it and say sorry and move on. Holding your hands over your eyes works just as well as it did when you were four, not very well.
A taker will take from others and never give back, and in their wake is a line of dry hollow ex-friends that they used up.
If you find yourself trying to get something for nothing all the time, you might be a taker.
Give and it shall be given to you... And he gave... give... give... give. It is everywhere. Does giving stop because we do not have or because it might hurt? No... all the great examples in the Bible are of people that gave and had nothing. The widow... Jesus... The woman with the oil and bit of bread... the list goes on and on but the taker will make up a reason not to give and in their mind it is okay because they are always right no matter what.
And last, the imbalance.
In the advice department if you find you are giving more advice and no one will say anything to you or give you advice. Might want to take a long look...
You have two ears and only one mouth... all old advice, but good.
Carry on...
"Give and you will always have it to give" My motto for this situation =)
ReplyDeleteLove you babe =) I am glad the Father above sees all His children and meets the needs that are as individual as all of us. =)
Hi Aaron,
ReplyDeleteI can't speak to the advice imbalance (don't they have pills for that now?) or the friend-taking thing, but I can say that while I'm one of those who doesn't offer advice on rearing children unless I'm asked, I think you're forgetting one major point: Human nature hasn't changed since Jesus walked the Earth and before. Dealing with children can come down to a matter of sometimes, nothing more than plain, old, common sense. Animals are sort of the same way. You don't need to own one to know how to handle one, because their nature is inherently the same as its always been.
Likewise, you don't have to have children to understand sheer human nature. Especially for kids--we want what we want when we want it, and that's all there be to it.
Think of it like writing your novel. If we were better at the editorial aspect of writing, then we wouldn't need a fresh set of editorial eyes on our MS before it went to press.
Well, consequently, I think sometimes parents can be so close, emotionally, to the exasperating situation with their children, that sometimes a fresh set of eyes, from the outside, aren't always a bad thing and sometimes needed in order to help you see another POV that you might have missed. (not saying YOU, just you in general) A lot of child psychologists are good at their job, not because they have children, but because they are good at understanding human nature.
Anyway, my two cents, and I hope things get better for you.
Cheers!