CHAPTER EIGHT: the beginning and the end...

With a long drive in front of my little family and two, yes two books on CD calling my name, I have mixed feelings about this upcoming Montana trip. My sister in law is getting married and we are going to help out and I am going to try to get in the way and be a pain, it's what I am good at.

Now the kids will make this experience memorable and I plan to have a camera on hand to capture the moments that will be implanted in the minds of all who attend this affair... What ever do you mean oh writer dude?

Let me tell you my predictions for the wedding.

Here we go.

Us, (My wife and I) Will arrive frazzled from the trip and be welcomed into a room in the upper chamber... yes, much like Jesus. We will drag our kids, 5, 2.5 and 1.5 into the mad house with children running a muck and wedding plans yet to be ruined... I mean fulfilled. We will have the great privilege to wake up at 6 AM to the sound of singing... or maybe a door slamming or maybe a child falling from a high bed. I will welcome the day with a smile and joy in my heart.

The kids will be so happy due to the long trip and the short nap we all call night time... they are so resilient these ones, a little sugar and a slap on the rump and they are ready to meet the day.

The day will move at breakneck speed with me and others somehow not being run over as the plans for the big day begin to take shape. There are decorations to be made and set up, dresses to finish and tuxes to pin and men to feed. I will try to keep my children from running into the highway and in the middle of this give a kiss to my wife who is not stressed one bit, amazing as she is...

Life will take us to the wedding try-outs, some will make it and others will not. some will take a walk down the aisle even though they all know how to do it and the wedding layout and all that, will be hashed out between a thousand girls and some guy in a suit. He will not have much say or at least no one will listen to him, he is after all, a man.

The day before the big day, fear and the "Oh my, I forgot to..." will hit and sleep will be impossible which will insure a great day in the morning. The kids... (ring bearer and flower girl) will rest with palm leaves waving over them and wake up refreshed and ready to do their duty. (I will be waving the palm leaves...)

The wedding is in Montana. Now we all know what is in Montana. Yes, sheep, but that is not what I am talking about. The view! Yes, mountains and rivers flowing all around and a abundance of trees and lakes for the poor to enjoy along with the rich. Now the fun part is with this view just about everywhere you turn (and most of it free mind you,) the wedding is a hour away in a paid location that... wait for it... backs up to the same free mountains and rivers. Yes ladies and gentlemen... a paid location, a paid lawn in which this splendid wedding will take place, now mind you it has a house on it, a rather large one that must have been paid for from past wedding goers. I for one can't wait to see the view... but I digress... I am just a simple guy... I know not of these wedding things... so I am sure I missed the importance... anyway... we move on. Oh an you MUST know the cost...well let's just say I could buy a reliable used car for the price being paid for 8 hours of use...

Wedding day, and we are all ready for this day to end, the wedding party is ready for one reason and the bride and groom for another.

The time is here and as the party walks down the aisle and stands on the little tape X we all wait for the flower girl and the 2.5 year old who will be walking at the very hour that he on most days except a wedding day, would be in bed taking his afternoon nap. Yes... I think you can see where this happy little story is going.

The little boy who is not a happy boy at all but a grumpy, angry tired boy holding a pillow and jammed into a tux on a hot afternoon surrounded by food, grass and the woods will walk down the aisle. Ha... I pull out my camera and wait for the bomb.

Now see it through his little eyes... he sees the green grass just begging to be pulled and jumped on. He smells the cake and little nuts and sees the red punch calling his tummy. He it hot, tired, and is wondering why he is in a suit holding a pillow with no one to throw it at. He is looking at the person at the end of said aisle calling him to walk down the long row and he thinks...

Well, now, I am not sure what he thinks... I can only guess. I with my camera ready and sweat pouring from my back hope and pray he sees a big leg of chicken at the end of that aisle and not his doom. Well, we will see what he thinks now won't we... and for the rest of you, just wait and watch for the article in the local papers, or check out the video on Utube.

Here is to the happy couple... may you laugh and remember that this is the beginning and the end.

The beginning of something new and exciting and the end of something that was new and exciting... funny how life does that to us.

P.S. I do say all this in jest... I am sure Kale will be fine... hee hee maybe with a Red Bull and the flower girls throwing candy instead of flowers... anything to help.