2012 -- The Year of Change.
-off topic-
A mentor of mine told me at the beginning of the year that 2012 was a year of change. I didn't know what he meant at the time but as we get closer to the end of the year and we are all still here, I look back at my own life and agree with him. This has been the year of change for me personally.
There were times that I wished the Mayan's had it right. My world seemed to be on the brink of ending and some days I wished it would have.
The last two years felt like slugging through mud with a messy divorce, trying to keep it calm and as safe for the kids turned out to be one of the hardest things I would ever do. But at the same time things on every other level were rockin! Business took off, I was growing in my own writing and deep down to my core I was happy.
I got this, we are going strong and just when I thought I could handle this stress and pressure I got a call. My little brother was dead. Shock, anger, fear, sadness, relief, confusion, anger again. All the feelings hit me in the face. He was a year and a half younger than me and even has three kids like I do. He left behind a wife and a large hole in many hearts.
No worries, I was good at managing stress, dealing with pain and loss...no big deal! Sometimes we lie to ourselves and don't even know it.
A month later I had to have a talk with my father and cut off all communication. This in the wake of my brothers death. My publishing house was still going strong but the demands grew. The way it felt was like being strung to a few horses and having them run in different directions.
No biggie, but that was only what my mind said, my body said something different. 6 years ago I hurt my low back and it decided to take this opportunity to go out. Three months of pain to a point that I could not sit longer than an hour and hundreds if not thousands of dollars for Massage, Yoga, PT, Personal Training and lots of drugs I am almost back to 100%.
Why am I telling you all this? Why be do blue? Because I am a person, a human with trials just like anyone. We all go through crap so why don't we cut each other some slack? Why are we so mean to each other? Why do we assume that we are alone?
In all this how do I feel, what do I take away?
*That my kids are strong and amazing. That I love them more each day and love to be with them.
*I know that true friends will stick with you no matter what, that I am a jerk sometimes and sometimes I am a good guy.
*I learned that I cannot trust myself and that my gut is right most the time.
*People are ruled by fear and change and that I need to listen to my body, when it says stop I need to stop.
*I found out that I have some loyal friends and that I need to be a better one.
*That people who are crazy will always be crazy, don't try to understand them, just learn and be wise.
*Humor is a healer, laughing is a medicine and sometimes you just need to do something stupid.
This year has been a year of change, but for the better. I have made so many mistakes but have also done some good things. Life is like a tree, it grows and along the way picks up a few scars and knots. But when it is old it shades and protects younger trees.
Please don't comment if you feel sorry for me, I don't! I love my life, and I have a great one. We all have things we want different but hey...it is what it is.
Now go out there and connect with someone, and if you want to attack someone remember that they may just need a hug instead.
Later
--Aaron
Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.
