How to make a living as a writer. Part #1 Get over yourself

Part #1: Get Over Yourself 

I am sure there re many of you out there who want to write a book, maybe you have written a few and really wish your sales were up so you could suit the old day job. I can tell you from first hand experience I know what you feel, I got it, I am with you. In all, I understand the need for validation, and a big fat check to rub in the faces of publishers and maybe even a few friends.

This last weekend I went to a school/church function for my kids and saw a lot of old friends that I had not seen in years. The one question that I got asked over and over was: "So are you still writing?" I would nod and smile and wait for the follow up question. "So, you are doing okay? You are able to make a living?"

To this I nod again and smile. So far I have made over a million dollars with my books and yet most of my family has yet to read a single book, most my friends see this as a cute hobby poor Aaron does and hopes I wake up and get a "real" job so I don't starve. I figured by now I would be taken seriously but maybe that is like the old saying: A prophet has no honor in his own country.

To date of this post I have 12 novels published, I publish for over 40 different authors and between the 2 or so publishing houses I run/own I host over 100 titles. By the end of the year 2014, I'll personally have over 20 novels to my name and be once gain on the New York Times bestseller list and a few others. I say all this to help you. There is not a day where you see an old friend and they look at you with envy instead of pity. Writing is looked at as a hobby, a thing old people do before they die. So why should they think anything else?

Deal with it. I don't really care as long as I can pay my bills and go on vacations like I want. Forget validation. Heck, even the big 6 publishers, think I am some self published loser. No matter how many times I beat them to the punch I am "lucky" a flash in the pan. Maybe in 20 years when I am still around I'll get a nod instead of a look of pity. But I ask you, does it really matter?

Do yourself a favor and get over trying to impress anyone. We live in-between our ears and no one will ever be able to live up to how you think you rate. In short, you think and I think we/I am way more important than we really are. Shall we start by getting over ourselves?

You may be asking yourself, "What does this have to do with making a living as a writer?" To which I say, "Before you can learn you must get over the person looking back at you in the mirror." We all have to see that maybe our books don't sell cuz they are crap, or maybe they have the worst cover known to man, or maybe your poor book has a author attached to it that everyone hates! Get out of your own way. Most if not all the people that come to me for marketing advice rate in their own ways. To me I look at their branding or marketing and can in 5 seconds figure out why their book is not selling, but to them it is a huge mystery.

So to start this series I want you to look in the mirror and forget all the self esteem tapes, give up trying to impress anyone and say out loud. "I have no idea what I am doing. I am an average writer. I am not as important as I think, I need help."

If you can honestly say that, and believe it, you are on your way to making a living as a writer. You my friend can one day quit your day job and live your dream. Am I being mean? Maybe… but I really want to help.

Now as my part, in honor of this journey: I Aaron Patterson have no idea what I am doing. I am an OK writer and want to one day be a great one. I am not as important as I hope to one day be, to someone, anyone! I need help. A lot!

All I have to give is what I know. What I know is what I have done. And I promise never to do something that I personally will not do myself. This is trial and error, we learn by mistakes and if you want, I'll make some mistakes for you so you can have a smoother ride.

Join me.

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Just Remember, It's All About You.

Like my mother used to say, "The world revolves around you."

Wait, or was it something else? I swear she said that… yeah. Good advice.

I get asked a lot of questions as a writer and publisher. Some of the best ones, or worst ones depending on your humor scale have to do with what to do about someone stealing their book. Or "What if the agent or publisher steals my idea and does their own book?"

I really had someone submit a MS to me once but in bits, they wouldn't show me the whole book cuz I might steal it.

So here is the deal:
You are important. Yes, you, are more important and amazing than anyone else in the world. You alone are the reason it is worth getting up in the morning. If I could wait at your feet, learn from your mind so one day I could write like you I would do so at a moments notice.

You are one of a kind. No really. No one has ever thought of your story, you spun it from your vast mind and it is so original that it is sure to bring readers to tears just to behold its glory. So please, please in the name of all thats holy WRITE FASTER!!!

The next thing I want you to know is that when you post on Facebook about your life, how you are growing as a person, how you saw yourself in the mirror and realized how amazing you are and that not sharing your gift with the rest of us would be a crime against humanity… I wept. I beg, I plead, I hang on every word, follow your every post, wait up at night thinking about how your life must be. Don't stop. Don't ever stop giving us, giving me your gift.

Now that you understand how because of you my life if full, my life has meaning I need you to know something. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I wake up in the morning and grab my phone to check on your Facebook page. I search for your books in the hopes that you in the last 12 hours happened to write another one. I am consumed by you. You are. Nothing else matters. It is like that movie, can't remember what it was called but they say: "The Dude Abides." It is so deep, the dude just IS. You just IS, you abide and I need to know that you know that I know you know that.

So my life and breath. Remember it is about you. With your aid we all see how to go on and be something. Thank you, and may you live long and …and… danrit, I can't remember how it goes.

*No real authors were harmed in this post. If you know someone who is plagued with the ItsAllAboutMe syndrome, pass this along to them. I do not approve of mocking people so if you are offended I am sorry and no real people were in mind when this was written. All likenesses to real people are accidental. I do not really thing you are all that and this post should be read by looking in the mirror over your left shoulder. Due to some lawsuits we are required to list some potential hazards of reading this post. Choking due to consuming a beverage upon reading. Gut rot, headache, body cramps, loss of air leading in some cases to death. Fluid loss out upper and lower openings. Mental trauma, stress, hair loss and death. We recommend smoking weed and or being drunk before reading to prevent some of these symptoms. 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Why people hate Indie authors!

Indie authors are like the redheaded step-child of publishing. 

But it’s their own fault! 

Mean? Yes, Cruel? Yes, True? Yes!

"Aaron, come on, we all know you like to hit the touchy issues, but why so hatful?" I'll tell you my friends and stalkers. I have been involved in writing and publishing for only three years now but in that time I have seen and done many things. I have watched the Indie publishers and authors grow and I consider myself an Indie as well. But we are at that point where we need to put on our suit, brush our teeth and come to the party looking good. Right now we look like we spent the last year under a bridge. 

Now before you write me off—lol small writing joke there—take a moment t consider what I am about to tell you. I also understand that some Indie authors do not fit this bill, guys like Joshua Graham and CJ Lyons are what to shoot for, doing it right and all that. But the bulk of Indies will fit my title rant perfectly. 

I like to sum up things...so here is a list that about nails the Indie:

Lazy

Ignorant 

Petty

Jealous

Gullible

If you are still with me, Gratz! You have thick skin or you just want to see what is wrong with me. =)

Lazy: 

What, you mean I have to market? I don't want to do a blog tour! Aaron, can't you just do it for me? I can't count the times I see an author work like mad to get their book published and once it is out they fall off the face of the earth. They see that this is a business and takes work. Don't be lazy, don't cut corners and hire your neighbor to do your cover. You are in the race with New York and big money, if you cannot put out a book that at least looks the part, than keep your day job. Yes, it is a ton of work; yes you will put in hours and not see a return right away. But the difference between a successful author and one who is not, is one put in the work and the other one gave up. Don't be lazy. 

Ignorant:

Don't get me started! Educate yourself! Take classes, webinars, learn all you can about the business you are in. Would you take a job and expect to do well if you have no clue what you are doing? Don't know how to use Facebook, learn. Twitter? Learn. You should know that you don't auto tweet someone your book link, or email your FB friends your book info. No one cares about your book; if they want to buy it they will find you. Social media is SOCIAL! The hard part about this point is most ignorant people don't even know that they are ignorant. Everyone is looking around wondering who I am talking about...good chance it is you. 

Big sign that you are ignorant. 

You hound people on social media. 

You have to beg for people to interact on your blog or FB wall.

You never have someone say how amazing your cover is... without you asking.

You can't understand why your sales are not higher, cuz you market all the time!

You don't know what a blog tour, auto tweet, metadata, author central, keyword, tag, SEO, or the difference between Mobi and ePub.

You are not selling on Apple because it is hard and requires an ISBN number.

You think this list is me just being a jerk.

I really want to help you, because helping you means helping me. I am in the same campground as other Indies and I want us all to rock, not suck!

What can you do? Imagine you were going to school to be a doctor. Spend 4-6 years teaching yourself everything there is to know about publishing and what is going on with eBooks. This is your job, if you ever want it to being in enough money to be your job that is...

Petty:

Fill in the blank. You get mad when another author does well, you may even leave them a bad review. You worry about what everyone else is doing and forget about your own house. Stress out over someone pirating your book and spend hours hunting them down only to make yourself look bad and miss the point. Come on guys, we are adults. We are in business. Do you think Trump stresses over what people think about his hair? He is working, making deals and pushing forward. He does not have time to worry about petty things. Look at the big picture, does it really matter? Where are you going, will this (Whatever is getting to you) get you there? Again, I see this all the time. We worry about things that just don't matter, but I covered this in another post, the one about chilling out. 

Jealous: 

Be happy for others who make it. And if someone does not do it like you do it, don't worry. Learn all you can and see what bestsellers do, some of it may work for you and some of it won't. But this "We 4 and no more" attitude is just lame. There is enough room at the top for all of us. People buy books, it is not like a car where they only but Ford or Chevy. Help each other out, share links to other books, don't fall into the trap that if you help out another author that that will hurt your own sales, if anything, it will help. 

Pretend that you are 3 years old, and your mom tells you to share! Share!

Gullible: 

We all want the lazy way out. The silver bullet. Face it, we just want it to be easy, buy that lottery ticket and cash it in. But life does not work that way. So what do we do? We jump on that site that offers a tweet for our book link, oh, they are going to market me for free and they care about women or pets or whatever! Think about it, what’s in it for them? 

I know of one site that is a Mecca for this crap. They claim to be there just to help and all they do is get ignorant Indie authors into their tagging chain or tweet list. They will tweet their own books back to you like 10X a day and just use you the ignorant author to ride their way to bigger sales. We all think that if we hang out with authors that do well that we will start selling. Think people! They just want to build a list, and if you watch they will start offering stuff for sale. 

Want an award? Here is the cost...oh but it is special. 

Want more tweets from us...here is the fee. 

Now some sites like Pixel of Ink are good, they are up front, they market books and some plans they charge and some are free. But the point is, they just tell you. There is no bait and switch, no "I am here to help Indie authors cuz my heart is just so big and juicy!" Cross these guys and they will rip your head off...believe me I know. 

You might wonder how this falls in with what we are doing over at StoneHouse University. Yes, there is a fee for classes but that is only there to pay the speakers and the administrator, so she can make her house payment. Look out for scams; don't think you are going to get something for nothing. There is always a catch even if it is to get you to buy a book so they can ride off your back up the bestseller list. 

Because I believe in being real and up front I am gonna tell you my evil little plan. You ready?

I wand to build a list of 50-100 books by the time I am 65 and take over after James Patterson dies. I know, mean. I would love to see StoneHouse Ink grow to have 100 authors and over 60% of them hit bestseller status. I want to teach and help other indie authors because it helps the little guy and I really want to see the big 6 go down. If I can take away a few of the big guys and make some waves I will giggle. I want authors to GET PAID! So many for so many years have been getting raped. Everyone should be making 50%, not just Indies. So, you see... I just want to take over the world. Is that bad? lol 

Oh, and have fun. If you know me you know that I love my job, love writing and publishing and love marketing! It is fun! Join me and some will see us coming and cringe and others will smile. 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Social Media 101 What NOT to do (Author Edition)

Social Media 101

Okay people, we all live in this online world and I know it can be hard to know what to do and as there are not really rules set up let's look at what to do and what NOT to do.

I am going to talk about what NOT to do first as it seems many of us are having a problem with this part of our online lives.

Comments on Facebook
You do not have to respond to every controversial comment or post. In fact you should avoid them if you can. We were not meant to know people this close and for some getting on FB or Twitter can be shocking. We go from knowing some things ab out our friends to knowing what they think about EVERY subject ever created. Our natural reaction is to comment and let them know what we think and thus the fights begin. Good rule of thumb, talk about nice things and if someone is just being a jerk do not follow or friend them, it is okay to unfriend people...even if you know them in person.

Marketing your book
Market yourself by being yourself. Not by pushing your book or health supplement on people. People buy from who they like, if I do not like you I will not buy your book. Get to know people, talk and post once every now and again, most people know you have a book as it is your profile picture.

Confrontation
So I pissed you off, now what? Well, you should not blast in public all about me and how I kill small kittens. You should send a email to me and deal with it that way before going off half cocked all over Twitter and Facebook. It just makes you look bad not me. If you do not like what someone is doing deal with it in private. There are people that I know online that are scamers and downright #lame. I want to scream from the TwitterTop and warn people about them or what they are doing with some publishing scam or whatever. But do I? No.

It is about control, try to control yourself. Send a email or make a call. Live above them, do right and all the others will work out by themselves. Most of us authors will not take the time to research what we are all mad about. Try stopping and looking at it all without your black glasses on. The only time I will name names and call out someone is if I am pushed into a corner and have to in order to defend myself. But that is the very last step and I do it with care as if i am going to name names I will do it with open guns and I am not messing around at that point. But like I said...last resort.

Twitter Auto Tweets
Come on peeps... be there... be here with us. Be present. I understand setting up auto tweets for time sake, but the same tweet over and over and over again? Really? And we read it? Nope...I gloss over and look for the real people having conversations.

Facebook Groups
Do not invite random people, it is rude. Follow the rules of the group. I can't count the times I delete posts from the same person over and over again because they will not follow the rules. If there is a no promotion rule, do not promote. Come one peeps...*note: if all you do is link to your book not one person will read it or follow the link.
Join the conversation.

Facebook Bleeding Heart's
I do not care about the poor sheep in Montana or the starving trees in Iceland. Most of it is just to get you all worked up and you re-post and share the sad picture that I have to gag over... again, conversation and what do you want me to do? Go over and feed some starving tree? I am not going to give money so what is the point? Oh...yeah, to put guilt on people for living in the US... got it... *small rant.

The main thing to remember is to be nice and do not do something that you would not want someone else to do. You know...like we learned when we were 6.

If you have a beef with someone don't go off on them, be an adult and hold your little Twitter fingers. Authors, I know we are all excited about books and reading, but be careful about who you hook up with. There are a ton of scams that look all good but all the scamer wants is to sell you their book. Ask yourself, do they push their book on you? Do they push you to follow rules that they made up? Do they blast others, cuz if they will kill another author if you cross them they will kill you as well. BE SMART...oh and be NICE!

That is all...

for now

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.