Wednesday, February 10, 2016

New AudioBook & Book Review! (The Passage by Justin Cronin)


Back in the year 2008 I wrote my first book: SWEET DREAMS. That groundbreaking novel turned into three and now I give you, the CROSS OVER box set, in AUDIO! I know... you about had heart failure and wet yourself. But hold the screams and hoots of joy and let your finger do the walking and buy this so you may enjoy my voice in your ears... well not my voice, but my words... anyway, how about that Super Bowl game? :)

Here is the buy link to the audiobook: BIGFUNLINKTHING

* * * 

Now for the promised book review and recommendation based on what I am reading. You would think you could find books on your own, but if I must point you in the right direction to words of wonder to fill your mind with worlds of unknown so you may escape the confines of this life... well, you are welcome!

The Passage: NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST NOVELS OF THE YEAR BY TIME AND LIBRARY JOURNAL—AND ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The Washington Post • Esquire • U.S. News & World Report • NPR/On Point • St. Louis Post-Dispatch • BookPage

An epic and gripping tale of catastrophe and survival, The Passage is the story of Amy—abandoned by her mother at the age of six, pursued and then imprisoned by the shadowy figures behind a government experiment of apocalyptic proportions. But Special Agent Brad Wolgast, the lawman sent to track her down, is disarmed by the curiously quiet girl and risks everything to save her. As the experiment goes nightmarishly wrong, Wolgast secures her escape—but he can’t stop society’s collapse. And as Amy walks alone, across miles and decades, into a future dark with violence and despair, she is filled with the mysterious and terrifying knowledge that only she has the power to save the ruined world.

This is a great book, well written, different and just cool. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. Here is the link to AMAZON

Well, thats it for today. Remember to do something scary, new and stop living a safe life. Oh, I almost forgot to bother you about signing up for my Super Secret Fan Club! DO IT.... 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Books and other things I like to touch

Most of the time I write thrillers and young adult type stuff. People die and they can be dark and scary at times. Thus I decided to write a funny book based on the idea that it could be fun to read a bad book on purpose. got it right... Like Sharknado vs CSI Miami.

Buy it on AMAZON

Fictitious Praise and Reviews for Cliché by Aaron Patterson & Nora Robb

“If you could only read one book this year you MUST read Cliché. It over promises and under delivers… masterful in so many ways!” 
—James Patterson, #1 international bestselling author of over a million, billion novels in every genre 

“Cliché will be the next blockbuster movie of all time, and I will produce it, or my name isn’t Mark Wahlberg!” 
—Mark Wahlberg, World famous actor, and the producer of just about every show out there worth watching 

“Aaron Patterson? Never heard of her…” 
—Chuck Norris 

—Chewbacca (Chewie) 

“This novel terrified me. I found myself up late at night thinking about it why the Dark Tower series is taking so long to be made into a movie—You made sure to put in a plug for the Dark Tower movie right? Just making sure…” 
—Stephen King, #1 New York Times bestselling author and all around good guy 

“After reading Cliché last night I stayed up all night and wrote 42 new songs!” 
—Taylor Swift 

“I would love to write a thriller…” 
—J.K. Rowling, Author of the Harry Potter series and I think one other book 

“If I were to write a book about myself, it would have to stand at a 45 degree angle and pause for dramatic effect just before putting on a pair of sunglasses. Looks like Cliché closes the book on that deal…………………………… lets just hope there is enough paper to print the masterpiece.” 
—Horatio Caine, CSI Miami 

“If I ever was going to read a book, I’d read Cliché. I’ve got to go but—I’ll be back!” 
—Arnold Schwarzenegger 

“I laughed so hard that I wet myself!” 
—Jimmy Fallon

If this sounds like something you might like to read, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. Let me know what you think, if you want more or if I should stop for the love of all that is holy!

Now for all of you readers out there... what am I reading? Glad you asked. Right now I am reading WOOL and let me tell ya....AMAZING! But don't take my word for it... You can get it on AMAZON

Remember to sign up for my Super Secret Book Club and I will give you updates on what I am working on, more book reviews and other stuff I can't tell you unless you are a member. 

Thanks and keep reading! 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Coming soon!

You can buy The Suicide Club here: AMAZON

I have not post in here much the past few months but I have a good reason... I've been writing! Yeah...whatareyougonnado?

So just to wet your book buds here is a sneak peek into what is coming. Oh and if you want to buy any of them they are up for Pre-order on just about every retailer out there... I would go for iBooks myself but that is just me.

You can buy ZERO here: IBOOKS

The Suicide Club is really exciting and like nothing I have ever written before. Edgy and will push your own boundaries...well maybe I have written other books like this lol.

Zero is a young adult dystopian series that is set in a controlled world where fences and walls keep out "The Infected" or maybe they keep everyone else in...

And if you want to meet Kirk Weston the star of The Suicide Club you can read a short story that is part of the Flight 12 project. This book is live so go get a copy and let me know what you think of Mr. Kirk AKA Mr. bad attitude.

You can get Flight 12 here: IBOOKS

That is what I have been doing, that and the holidays, kids, wild cats and a ton of other stuff... Post a comment and say hi.

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Monday, October 6, 2014


Must reads for 2014

This is a special edition of my blog that I am calling: Aaron's Picks! Why you might ask? Well, because sometimes it is nice to know about books that are amazing without spending hours online reading reviews. I ill not go into much detail about each book but trust me, if it made the list... well, you be the judge.

#1. Chemicals by Erica Crockett

Erica is a personal friend so I know how much time she puts into her writing. This is her first book but she has a huge crazy series about to be unleashed so after you devour this novel you will not be left with nothing more to read. This book just came out so do yourself a favor and... get a copy.


#2. The Scary Tales Series by Rob E. Boley

This series will have around 6 in all and maybe more. It is a dark take on some of your favorite vary tales like Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood and Zombies are thrown in the mix as well. Rob is a new author like Erica but is one of the best writers Ive ever had the pleasure of reading. If you like new and out there books pick up this series. 

That Risen Snow: Book 1: AMAZON 
That Wicked Apple: Book 2: AMAZON
That Ravenous Moon: Book 3 AMAZON

#3. Hair of the corn dog by AK Turner 

If you are a parent or see a child in your future this is a great series. Not only that but it is funny... really funny. 


#4. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach

Nasty and funny all at the same time and you learn something about dead people.

I hope you enjoy these books just as much as I did. That is all for now. Have a great week!

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

How To Make A Living As A Writer. Part #2 Don't Compare, Compete & Create.

Part #2: Don't Compare, Compete & Create. 

Here we go again. You are over there, I am over here…we should so hang out. But there is a problem, you have a cool car and nice hair, I on the other hand… well don't. 

Sounds silly yes. But that is what a lot of Indie authors do. They look at what some other author is doing and their personal expectations go through the roof. H.M. Ward sells over 4 million in one year, CJ Lyons kills it and Bella Andre is unstoppable. So instead of writing because we love to write, instead of putting our heads down and working the plan we get caught up in the compare game. 

Avoid this trap if you really want to make money as a writer. Remember when you worked a regular job? Yeah, 12 $ an hour. Now you want to make millions and work 20 hours a week? Wait…you are telling me that you want to make more than a doctor, more than most any job out there and do it from your recliner? Seriously? I bet before you began writing if I told you that you could make ANY money writing you would have been blown away. So stop comparing. You are you, they are they. 

"Be content but never satisfied." 

If you had to choose an author that you feel is competing with you on a head to head level. Meaning that someone could buy their book instead of yours. If you name anyone besides a big name author like Tom Clancy you are missing the mark. I know this sounds like I didn't read the first part of this post but comparing and competing are different. 

I am competing with James Patterson. My covers have to be better than his, my eBook layout and print files must blow his away. Why are you trying to out sell some other Indie? I know that this sounds bad but most of the Indie published authors don't sell and they are panicked and fighting for the scraps. Don't even play in the playground. One thing people like Hugh Howie do is they are trend setters, they make new rules. 

Here are some questions you can answer to find out if you are competing against the big boys or not. If you answer YES to any of these you could be falling short. 
1. Did you make your own book cover?
2. Do you publish with Smashwords?
3. Did you do your own eBook conversion?

And if you answer NO to the following:
4. Do you have a Newsletter?
5. Do you have live book links in the back of all your books?
6. Do you change your keywords every month?
7. Do you have your book in Audio, Print?
8. Is your book in libraries? 
9. Do you spend money promoting your book? 

"You are only limited my your own fears, and or a lack of skill."

We are all writers and creatives but sometimes this hurts us. We feel like we have to come up with the next best idea and write a book that is so out there that people stare and wonder at how smart and creative we are. NO! Look, it has all been done and take it from me, as a publisher one of the hardest books to sell is one that is different. Amazon and other stores have keywords and categories and if your book if so different that there is no place for it you can run into a wall. 

Tell a story. That is all you have to do. Most all chick flicks are the same and have been for years. Boy meets girl, they hate each other and something happens, they fall in love but one of them lied…oh no! The other finds out, they break up and there is music and flashbacks to when things were good. Now they get back together in the end and kiss in the rain or in the street. Guess what? They still sell! Sometimes being the same but different is a good thing.

"You are not special--if more parents told the truth, we wouldn't have American Idol." 

Making a living as a writer is easy as long as you can take off the writer hat and put on the business hat.  
Hope this helps and as always… nah I'll tell you next time.

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Monday, May 19, 2014

How to make a living as a writer. Part #1 Get over yourself

Part #1: Get Over Yourself 

I am sure there re many of you out there who want to write a book, maybe you have written a few and really wish your sales were up so you could suit the old day job. I can tell you from first hand experience I know what you feel, I got it, I am with you. In all, I understand the need for validation, and a big fat check to rub in the faces of publishers and maybe even a few friends.

This last weekend I went to a school/church function for my kids and saw a lot of old friends that I had not seen in years. The one question that I got asked over and over was: "So are you still writing?" I would nod and smile and wait for the follow up question. "So, you are doing okay? You are able to make a living?"

To this I nod again and smile. So far I have made over a million dollars with my books and yet most of my family has yet to read a single book, most my friends see this as a cute hobby poor Aaron does and hopes I wake up and get a "real" job so I don't starve. I figured by now I would be taken seriously but maybe that is like the old saying: A prophet has no honor in his own country.

To date of this post I have 12 novels published, I publish for over 40 different authors and between the 2 or so publishing houses I run/own I host over 100 titles. By the end of the year 2014, I'll personally have over 20 novels to my name and be once gain on the New York Times bestseller list and a few others. I say all this to help you. There is not a day where you see an old friend and they look at you with envy instead of pity. Writing is looked at as a hobby, a thing old people do before they die. So why should they think anything else?

Deal with it. I don't really care as long as I can pay my bills and go on vacations like I want. Forget validation. Heck, even the big 6 publishers, think I am some self published loser. No matter how many times I beat them to the punch I am "lucky" a flash in the pan. Maybe in 20 years when I am still around I'll get a nod instead of a look of pity. But I ask you, does it really matter?

Do yourself a favor and get over trying to impress anyone. We live in-between our ears and no one will ever be able to live up to how you think you rate. In short, you think and I think we/I am way more important than we really are. Shall we start by getting over ourselves?

You may be asking yourself, "What does this have to do with making a living as a writer?" To which I say, "Before you can learn you must get over the person looking back at you in the mirror." We all have to see that maybe our books don't sell cuz they are crap, or maybe they have the worst cover known to man, or maybe your poor book has a author attached to it that everyone hates! Get out of your own way. Most if not all the people that come to me for marketing advice rate in their own ways. To me I look at their branding or marketing and can in 5 seconds figure out why their book is not selling, but to them it is a huge mystery.

So to start this series I want you to look in the mirror and forget all the self esteem tapes, give up trying to impress anyone and say out loud. "I have no idea what I am doing. I am an average writer. I am not as important as I think, I need help."

If you can honestly say that, and believe it, you are on your way to making a living as a writer. You my friend can one day quit your day job and live your dream. Am I being mean? Maybe… but I really want to help.

Now as my part, in honor of this journey: I Aaron Patterson have no idea what I am doing. I am an OK writer and want to one day be a great one. I am not as important as I hope to one day be, to someone, anyone! I need help. A lot!

All I have to give is what I know. What I know is what I have done. And I promise never to do something that I personally will not do myself. This is trial and error, we learn by mistakes and if you want, I'll make some mistakes for you so you can have a smoother ride.

Join me.

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

12 Bestselling Authors one Box Set!

12 complete works by 12 of today's hottest mystery and thriller writers, including USA Today and New York Times bestselling authors. Very special price for this special edition bundle!

If you like a good thriller this is great deal and we are only selling this set for a limited time. 

A $46.65 Value (if purchased separately) - Reg. Retail: $9.99
10 full-length novels + 2 long novellas
Over 680 5-star reviews across all 12 titles!

 1 - DON'T KNOW JACK (The Hunt For Reacher Series) - Diane Capri
 2 - CRY WOLF (A Laura Cardinal Novella) - J Carson Black
 3 - NIGHT WIDOW (The Night Series) - Carol Davis Luce
 4 - GUARANTEED JUSTICE (The Justice Series) - M A Comley
 5 - STRANGER IN TOWN - Cheryl Bradshaw
 6 - BREAKING STEELE (A Sarah Steele Thriller) - Aaron Patterson & Ellie Ann
 7 - MOONLIGHT SONATA (A Dick Moonlight Thriller) - Vincent Zandri
 8 - TERMINUS - Joshua Graham
10 - DEAD CELEB (The Dead Celeb Series) - Michele Scott
11 - FINAL VECTOR - Allan Leverone
12 - THE GIFTS (A Jacody Ives Mystery) - Linda S Prather

You can buy yours by clicking the links below: 

TheTwelve’s Website:

TheTwelve’s FaceBook Fan Page:

Thanks for reading and now I need a cup of coffee!

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Learn how to Self-Publish

I Will Hold Your Hand. 

In the past I have worked with many writers who wanted to self-publish. I consulted and in other words held their hands as they tread the sometimes scary waters of the publishing world. Most of my clients have gone on to not only publish their own books but become national bestsellers. 

Some of you have taken my webinars and I am glad to see many of you doing really well and tearing it up out there. I have done this a few years now and have some good ideas that can give you an edge over the average Joe…sorry Joe… out there when it comes to having a great product and with what I have done with my publishing houses I feel the need to pass along some of that information. 

If you have listened to me online or heard me speak at a conference you know that I am a huge dork and not much for sparing you for your feelings. I figure this is a business and you want the truth over a pat on the back. 

All this being said here is how it works. 

What you get:
60 days of coaching
Meetings in person or over the phone if you are out of state.
Together we will take your MS from a WORD doc to in "Print"
I will show you how to get your book through the editing process.
Connect you with the right people to get your book converted to an eBook.
Help you find and get an amazing cover created. 
Have your book designed and layer out for print.
Help you set up all your accounts online and with booksellers. 

Cost of this will depend on your book. The price if for coaching and contacts to give you everything you need to succeed. Each client is different and has different needs but budget for 3-5K. I can only work with one person at a time due to my own busy life so openings are limited. 

If you are serious about this business and want to make a living as a writer this is a great opportunity. Let me know if you have any questions. 


Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Book Review of James Bond GOLDFINGER. By Ian Fleming

Every now and again I do what I call short, no fuss book reviews. Some of you like to read, I know imagine that! I find a good book to be a great way to down a bottle of wine or drown out a kid who just won't go to bed. So I am kicking it old school with this book I just finished. Good old James Bond.

If you like a mystery I say go for it, not like we don't all know what happens but it is well written and reading all the strange spellings back in the UK days is worth a few hours of your time. The thing I liked most about this book was how I learned something. Not just about craft, but about history. In-between the silly names of the hotties is some gold nuggets, yeah I just made that joke, sue me.

I say go out and read a classic thriller as the weather turns, you might find that you like the old ways best…and yes, I made that joke too.

Your reading fool, Aaron

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Just Remember, It's All About You.

Like my mother used to say, "The world revolves around you."

Wait, or was it something else? I swear she said that… yeah. Good advice.

I get asked a lot of questions as a writer and publisher. Some of the best ones, or worst ones depending on your humor scale have to do with what to do about someone stealing their book. Or "What if the agent or publisher steals my idea and does their own book?"

I really had someone submit a MS to me once but in bits, they wouldn't show me the whole book cuz I might steal it.

So here is the deal:
You are important. Yes, you, are more important and amazing than anyone else in the world. You alone are the reason it is worth getting up in the morning. If I could wait at your feet, learn from your mind so one day I could write like you I would do so at a moments notice.

You are one of a kind. No really. No one has ever thought of your story, you spun it from your vast mind and it is so original that it is sure to bring readers to tears just to behold its glory. So please, please in the name of all thats holy WRITE FASTER!!!

The next thing I want you to know is that when you post on Facebook about your life, how you are growing as a person, how you saw yourself in the mirror and realized how amazing you are and that not sharing your gift with the rest of us would be a crime against humanity… I wept. I beg, I plead, I hang on every word, follow your every post, wait up at night thinking about how your life must be. Don't stop. Don't ever stop giving us, giving me your gift.

Now that you understand how because of you my life if full, my life has meaning I need you to know something. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I wake up in the morning and grab my phone to check on your Facebook page. I search for your books in the hopes that you in the last 12 hours happened to write another one. I am consumed by you. You are. Nothing else matters. It is like that movie, can't remember what it was called but they say: "The Dude Abides." It is so deep, the dude just IS. You just IS, you abide and I need to know that you know that I know you know that.

So my life and breath. Remember it is about you. With your aid we all see how to go on and be something. Thank you, and may you live long and …and… danrit, I can't remember how it goes.

*No real authors were harmed in this post. If you know someone who is plagued with the ItsAllAboutMe syndrome, pass this along to them. I do not approve of mocking people so if you are offended I am sorry and no real people were in mind when this was written. All likenesses to real people are accidental. I do not really thing you are all that and this post should be read by looking in the mirror over your left shoulder. Due to some lawsuits we are required to list some potential hazards of reading this post. Choking due to consuming a beverage upon reading. Gut rot, headache, body cramps, loss of air leading in some cases to death. Fluid loss out upper and lower openings. Mental trauma, stress, hair loss and death. We recommend smoking weed and or being drunk before reading to prevent some of these symptoms. 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.