Off Topic (Cussing and other fun things to do)

***Off Topic***

To $*&@ or not to $*&@

Don't swear! Don't cuss! Don't offend me! Don't burst my bubble! I mean I have never heard a swear word in my life and own a Clean TV box that changes the word "Sex" to "Hugs" so I don't have to hear the word. This is all fine and well, I grew up in church and write clean books.

But why don't I label myself as a christian fiction writer? Because once you slap that label on yourself you become tied to a list of rules that even God himself would break as he does not have as strong a conviction as most Christian fiction publishers.

I don't write sex scenes, use profanity because in my personal decision, I am a writer, I can think of other words to use and want to show how my character is feeling. So what is my personal rule?

IF THE BIBLE SAYS IT, SO CAN I!

I think this is a solid rule. If you wish to write clean and sell into the CBA market as well as the general market--which I do, it is about as close to the line as you can get. I have yet to get a reader complaint because I didn't have profanity in my books.

Now the reason for this post is because some of you out there have a thin soft skin and think you are better than God. Better than God you say? Wow Aaron, tall claim, harsh words... all true. If the shoe fits and all that...

Who gripes about book content? Not the Christian bookstores, not the general market. I'll give you two guesses and one don't count.

So let me help you out my dear thin skinned reader.

The bible uses a few words in a derogatory way, here are a few:

Bastard
Whore
Dog
Harlot

Even Jesus told a woman she was a dog, others that they were vipers and so on. Now I don't want this to get into a religious post but the point is, don't have higher standards than God. He used harsh words to make a point and if he did, I think I can use them as well.

Do I use them much? Nope, maybe once in a whole book, I try to make it the right word for whatever the scene calls for. So next time you want to get all hot under the collar because you saw a word you didn't like, remember:

1. This is NOT Christian fiction, never said it was.
2. Chill out, there are so many fights about this subject and the only people fighting are the Christians, the rest are busy reading a good book.
3. You and your opinion are just as important as the rest of the universe and their opinion, which is a nice way of saying, no one cares what you think. =)
4. Be an adult. I know, this is asking a lot, but it was worth a shot.
5. If you want a down the line Christian fiction book, one that never says the word sex and everyone is nice to each other and never makes anyone feel bad, go get one, there are many to choose from.
6. Be real, if you even watch a movie, TV show, let people cuss on the subway in earshot of you than don't be all up in my grill if I decide to use the word bastard. Oh crap, you just read a cuss word!

Got you!

--Aaron




Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Chill Out! The Author's Guide to Chilling Out!

Chill out!


This is your deep breath in... hold it, and now... let it out. There, now keep doing that.

I had some friends when I was little that used to say Chill Out all the time! Chill... it was all cool to say it so we did. But it is a good reminder to keep our heads.

What does this have to do with writing and publishing? Everything!

So many of us have our heads in an imaginary cloud, heck, we write made up stories and live in a dream world so it can be hard to get centered and grounded in reality again.

Here are some signs that you need to Chill Out!

1. Your way is the only way!
I read a post from an author who gets over a million hits on his blog every month. He was telling people that only stupid authors sell on Amazon because they are losing money and helping sell Kindles. I did a double take and read how HE says you should sell all your books and eBooks direct! Well, that works for like 4 authors in the world, but the rest of us need a store to sell our books, i.e. Amazon.

This is what I like to call OUT OF TOUCH! They think that the way they do it, is the only way and they lose touch with what is real. Many authors that sell really well can fall into this trap and forget how hard it was to build up to a good sales base. They lose touch. Other writers get angry at anyone selling as they think it should be them and in their Dream World they should be millionaires.
Chill!

2. Impatience!
We all want the magic bullet, the lottery ticket. But that is not how it works. There are a lot of writers that give up because their dreams of fame and fortune are dashed as they struggle to sell their books. This leads to bitterness and they quit, not realizing that half of success is just showing up.

My Dad used to tell me that if I worked hard and was on time I would end up owning the company. I did not know how true this was until I saw that so many people can't show up on time and do not work hard. If you just work hard and show up, you will sell just because you are there! Don't believe me?
Chill!

3. Overreaction! 
KDP Select! Price fixing! Big Bad Companies! Reviews! File Sharing!
Something new comes out and all the blogger's ring Chicken Little's neck so they can run around screaming THE SKY IS FALLING! Chill! A blogger says that Amazon is trying to murder little puppies and the world is out to get them or you hear that someone is saying mean things about you on Twitter. Really? Calm people, think, lets get out of our made up-world and remember: No one is out to get you. You are not that important. You really think all the big boys want to kill us all off so they can have their 10 books and burn the rest? This is where we need to stop and breathe... oh and CHILL!

4. Rule Nazi's!
Now this one is just personal, but what is with all the people running around making sure you follow every law and rule? It is like having my mom look over my shoulder to make sure that I color in the lines. Rules are meant to be broken, live a little! Oh, and this goes back to being important, I am not important enough for the CIA to go after me because I sold a book for under the price allowed by the online retailers. Try breaking a little online web rule, you might like it!
Chill!

I think you get the idea.

Life is short, enjoy the ride.
Hang with people you want to be like.
Work hard, play harder.
Surprise someone with unnecessary kindness.
Admit you are wrong.
Laugh.
Live.

Now quit reading this crap and get out there and WORRY about something! =)

Chill...




Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.