New AudioBook & Book Review! (The Passage by Justin Cronin)

NEW AUDIOBOOK!

Back in the year 2008 I wrote my first book: SWEET DREAMS. That groundbreaking novel turned into three and now I give you, the CROSS OVER box set, in AUDIO! I know... you about had heart failure and wet yourself. But hold the screams and hoots of joy and let your finger do the walking and buy this so you may enjoy my voice in your ears... well not my voice, but my words... anyway, how about that Super Bowl game? :)

Here is the buy link to the audiobook: BIGFUNLINKTHING

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Now for the promised book review and recommendation based on what I am reading. You would think you could find books on your own, but if I must point you in the right direction to words of wonder to fill your mind with worlds of unknown so you may escape the confines of this life... well, you are welcome!


The Passage: NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST NOVELS OF THE YEAR BY TIME AND LIBRARY JOURNAL—AND ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The Washington Post • Esquire • U.S. News & World Report • NPR/On Point • St. Louis Post-Dispatch • BookPage

 
An epic and gripping tale of catastrophe and survival, The Passage is the story of Amy—abandoned by her mother at the age of six, pursued and then imprisoned by the shadowy figures behind a government experiment of apocalyptic proportions. But Special Agent Brad Wolgast, the lawman sent to track her down, is disarmed by the curiously quiet girl and risks everything to save her. As the experiment goes nightmarishly wrong, Wolgast secures her escape—but he can’t stop society’s collapse. And as Amy walks alone, across miles and decades, into a future dark with violence and despair, she is filled with the mysterious and terrifying knowledge that only she has the power to save the ruined world.

This is a great book, well written, different and just cool. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. Here is the link to AMAZON

Well, thats it for today. Remember to do something scary, new and stop living a safe life. Oh, I almost forgot to bother you about signing up for my Super Secret Fan Club! DO IT.... 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Books and other things I like to touch

Most of the time I write thrillers and young adult type stuff. People die and they can be dark and scary at times. Thus I decided to write a funny book based on the idea that it could be fun to read a bad book on purpose. Yeah...you got it right... Like Sharknado vs CSI Miami.

Buy it on AMAZON

Fictitious Praise and Reviews for Cliché by Aaron Patterson & Nora Robb

“If you could only read one book this year you MUST read Cliché. It over promises and under delivers… masterful in so many ways!” 
—James Patterson, #1 international bestselling author of over a million, billion novels in every genre 

“Cliché will be the next blockbuster movie of all time, and I will produce it, or my name isn’t Mark Wahlberg!” 
—Mark Wahlberg, World famous actor, and the producer of just about every show out there worth watching 

“Aaron Patterson? Never heard of her…” 
—Chuck Norris 

“GGWWWRGHH… AARRGWWWGGHHAA.” 
—Chewbacca (Chewie) 

“This novel terrified me. I found myself up late at night thinking about it why the Dark Tower series is taking so long to be made into a movie—You made sure to put in a plug for the Dark Tower movie right? Just making sure…” 
—Stephen King, #1 New York Times bestselling author and all around good guy 

“After reading Cliché last night I stayed up all night and wrote 42 new songs!” 
—Taylor Swift 

“I would love to write a thriller…” 
—J.K. Rowling, Author of the Harry Potter series and I think one other book 

“If I were to write a book about myself, it would have to stand at a 45 degree angle and pause for dramatic effect just before putting on a pair of sunglasses. Looks like Cliché closes the book on that deal…………………………… lets just hope there is enough paper to print the masterpiece.” 
—Horatio Caine, CSI Miami 

“If I ever was going to read a book, I’d read Cliché. I’ve got to go but—I’ll be back!” 
—Arnold Schwarzenegger 

“I laughed so hard that I wet myself!” 
—Jimmy Fallon



If this sounds like something you might like to read, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. Let me know what you think, if you want more or if I should stop for the love of all that is holy!

Now for all of you readers out there... what am I reading? Glad you asked. Right now I am reading WOOL and let me tell ya....AMAZING! But don't take my word for it... You can get it on AMAZON


Remember to sign up for my Super Secret Book Club and I will give you updates on what I am working on, more book reviews and other stuff I can't tell you unless you are a member. 

Thanks and keep reading! 

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

How to make a living as a writer. Part #1 Get over yourself

Part #1: Get Over Yourself 

I am sure there re many of you out there who want to write a book, maybe you have written a few and really wish your sales were up so you could suit the old day job. I can tell you from first hand experience I know what you feel, I got it, I am with you. In all, I understand the need for validation, and a big fat check to rub in the faces of publishers and maybe even a few friends.

This last weekend I went to a school/church function for my kids and saw a lot of old friends that I had not seen in years. The one question that I got asked over and over was: "So are you still writing?" I would nod and smile and wait for the follow up question. "So, you are doing okay? You are able to make a living?"

To this I nod again and smile. So far I have made over a million dollars with my books and yet most of my family has yet to read a single book, most my friends see this as a cute hobby poor Aaron does and hopes I wake up and get a "real" job so I don't starve. I figured by now I would be taken seriously but maybe that is like the old saying: A prophet has no honor in his own country.

To date of this post I have 12 novels published, I publish for over 40 different authors and between the 2 or so publishing houses I run/own I host over 100 titles. By the end of the year 2014, I'll personally have over 20 novels to my name and be once gain on the New York Times bestseller list and a few others. I say all this to help you. There is not a day where you see an old friend and they look at you with envy instead of pity. Writing is looked at as a hobby, a thing old people do before they die. So why should they think anything else?

Deal with it. I don't really care as long as I can pay my bills and go on vacations like I want. Forget validation. Heck, even the big 6 publishers, think I am some self published loser. No matter how many times I beat them to the punch I am "lucky" a flash in the pan. Maybe in 20 years when I am still around I'll get a nod instead of a look of pity. But I ask you, does it really matter?

Do yourself a favor and get over trying to impress anyone. We live in-between our ears and no one will ever be able to live up to how you think you rate. In short, you think and I think we/I am way more important than we really are. Shall we start by getting over ourselves?

You may be asking yourself, "What does this have to do with making a living as a writer?" To which I say, "Before you can learn you must get over the person looking back at you in the mirror." We all have to see that maybe our books don't sell cuz they are crap, or maybe they have the worst cover known to man, or maybe your poor book has a author attached to it that everyone hates! Get out of your own way. Most if not all the people that come to me for marketing advice rate in their own ways. To me I look at their branding or marketing and can in 5 seconds figure out why their book is not selling, but to them it is a huge mystery.

So to start this series I want you to look in the mirror and forget all the self esteem tapes, give up trying to impress anyone and say out loud. "I have no idea what I am doing. I am an average writer. I am not as important as I think, I need help."

If you can honestly say that, and believe it, you are on your way to making a living as a writer. You my friend can one day quit your day job and live your dream. Am I being mean? Maybe… but I really want to help.

Now as my part, in honor of this journey: I Aaron Patterson have no idea what I am doing. I am an OK writer and want to one day be a great one. I am not as important as I hope to one day be, to someone, anyone! I need help. A lot!

All I have to give is what I know. What I know is what I have done. And I promise never to do something that I personally will not do myself. This is trial and error, we learn by mistakes and if you want, I'll make some mistakes for you so you can have a smoother ride.

Join me.

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

Book Review of James Bond GOLDFINGER. By Ian Fleming

Every now and again I do what I call short, no fuss book reviews. Some of you like to read, I know imagine that! I find a good book to be a great way to down a bottle of wine or drown out a kid who just won't go to bed. So I am kicking it old school with this book I just finished. Good old James Bond.

If you like a mystery I say go for it, not like we don't all know what happens but it is well written and reading all the strange spellings back in the UK days is worth a few hours of your time. The thing I liked most about this book was how I learned something. Not just about craft, but about history. In-between the silly names of the hotties is some gold nuggets, yeah I just made that joke, sue me.

I say go out and read a classic thriller as the weather turns, you might find that you like the old ways best…and yes, I made that joke too.

Your reading fool, Aaron


Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

IBPA Publishing University (Amazon, Bella, and Me!)

Next week I will be going to SanFran as a guest of Amazon.com. Just saying this sounds a little weird as a year ago just being able to have a email contact with the book giant was super cool! Now I get to go speak with them as well as an amazing author like Bella Andre!

I will be talking about eBooks, marketing, and social media. I am amazed to see the relevance of this conference. From speakers like Mark Coker of Smashwords to the publisher of Publishers Weekly, and Google.

What does all this mean?

It means that the new publishing world is starting with the small presses like StoneHouse Ink and working up. In time the big boyz will be hooked in and time will tell what will come out the other side. But going to other conferences where there was not a single class on eBooks to this is a breath of fresh air.

Oh, I almost forgot, the CEO of Goodreads is even going to be there! how cool is that!

Some things I would like to see or at least talk about with Amazon are as follows:

1. Will we Indies ever get the same benefits as the Big 6? Such as Free sales, not just in Select, pre-order listings for eBooks, cool author pages and book listings with video and all the same things the Big 6 now have.

2. More human interaction. A 24 hour notice on problems without the "I will delete your account" threats. I know, your legal team is the one who writes all that junk, but come on!

3. Better wording on legal contracts and less control in the Select program. i.e. Make it okay to give away free eBooks on a blog or site, be open to blog tours and giveaways so we can market and push them to you etc...

4. Better control on Createspace. Link books faster, better cover color, or use the Kindle image, maybe even a upload front cover area for the product page. More options for covers and things like that.

5. Can we have better reports? A per day option?

6. Better review control. Must read the book, some reviews the person even says that they did not finish. Take off reviews from people that are just there to make trouble, maybe a higher level reviewer has more power so their review makes your stars jump more...not sure, just not so lax.

7. More advertizing options.

This is just a few things that have been on my mind, but I am sure more will come up. If you have anything you might want to say, leave a comment and I will see what I can do.

If you are in the area, come on out to the conference, it would be great to meet you!

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.

How to leave a book review.

The GOOD, The BAD and the UGLY!
If you are a writer, a book review is a big deal and if you are a reader and want to leave a review it can be a daunting task. What do you say, how do you say what you want?

First off I want to talk about bad reviews. I have talked to the old school authors and it was a rare thing to get a bad review as most people who left a review was because they liked the book. But with shows like American Idol, the public thinks that what they think matters.

I say this with a bit of a evil grin as in the end most opinion's are not worth thinking about as it may burn brain cells. But, now we have a problem and online more and more bad reviews are popping up as being mean and speaking your mind is glamorized. If you are mean and cruel it must mean you are cool, yet I bet you not one mean reviewer would tell the author to their face the same thing.

So if you want to leave a bad review, remember, this is a person, be nice and talk about the book and the good and the bad, what you liked and didn't like and keep the personal comments out. Pretend that this is your mother, or best friend, how would you talk to them? Would you say "You suck and should go hang yourself?" Some reviews are this bad, and very personal. Remember, writing is Art, if you do not like it, that is on you, some other person may love the book. If you hate a painting do you blast the painter? No, you may just "Not get it" or may just not be for you.

Good Reviews:

You read a book and liked it, what do you do?
First, leave a review. To combat the bad review crazy people, it is even more important for you to give the gift of a good review if you liked the book.

But what is a review for?

It is to let people know if they should buy the book. Do you think other people would like it and what would they like about it?

Leaving a review is not you endorsing the book, it is telling people what you liked and even what you did not like.

Don't worry about how long it is. You can just say, "Great book for Teens and I loved the story." you do not need to write a long review, if you want, go for it but even a one liner helps for other readers as they read to make a choice.

I had a blogger who is very wise read my book and she did not like it, but she saw that it was just not for her, she liked my writing and knew of other people that would love it. So now she knows who to recommend the book too. See, it is not about if you loved or hated it, who do you know that would like the book? I have read books that were not for me but I would pass them to someone who i knew would like that style or whatever.

This is what a review is for. Who will like the book? Teens, Women, men? Think about who is the perfect reader and try to lead your review to speak to them.

I know being honest is a good thing but do not be honest and mean. We have so much hate and piss poor people in this world that spreading it around more is just lame...yes, #Lame. Hashtag that!

Hate a book? Leave a NICE review that is HELPFUL and not just proof that you need more lovin. If you love the book, leave a HELPFUL review and make sure you take the time to do it, every review helps even the bad ones if they are done in a spirit of kindness.

I hope this helps and get out there and read, and share. Reading is a wonderful thing. Have a great day and if you do not agree with me... leave me a comment and practice being nice and say how messed up in the head I am! =)

P.S. I forgot to mention, don't leave a UPDATE review. "I am reading your books and so far I love/hate is, I will leave more as I read..." And leave 3 stars based on how far you are in the book. Really? Come on... read the book! And on that note, if you do not finish the book, don't leave a review, you did not finish. And if that means it sucked, well what if the ending made up for the suck? But you do not know cuz you did not read the whole book. Again...#Lame

Author Aaron Patterson: Blog: The Worst Book Ever.